Why don’t forty plus year old men appreciate forty plus year old women?

 Why is it so difficult for some forty plus year old women to find a good man?  Not sure what the answer is, but I do know that many of them are having the worst time finding a GOOD man.

I recently asked my forty four year old husband what men, SINGLE men, in his age group look for in a woman.  I wasn’t too surprise with his answer, but I was a little angry.  He said “definitely NOT a forty something year old woman”.  He later went on to say that ‘these women’ are too unrealistic. Women (yes, he did generalize us) in their forties are looking for successful attractive men and unfortunately these men prefer to be with women who are a lot younger.  He continues by saying “these women”  should lower their standards, successful, tall and attractive should not be their top criteria.   They should look at men in their fifties or sixties because to some of these men a forty plus year old woman is still a much younger woman.  Now, is my loving husband Gary a sexist pig or someone who tells the truth?  I would like to believe that he is not a sexist pig, and since I have been married for twenty one years and only dated two guys my entire life, I would also like to believe that men are really not that shallow.

It seems that mature Black women have a more difficult time dating than their White counterpart.  Black women who prefer to date only in their race are already starting way behind the eight ball.  First they are dealing with the male to female ratio, and they also have to deal with the high number of black men who are incarcerated.   Also, some brothers are intimidated by successful women; their ego can not deal with a woman who makes more money than they do.

I say this, to all the forty plus year old women out there who can not find a good man, try a different approach, not Gary’s approach but try something else.  Instead of ONLY dating men in your race, try going outside of your race.  Instead of dating only age appropriate men try a much younger man. instead of dating successful ‘white collar’ workers, try the UPS guy.  For those of you who have never been married, just have a good time, when you go out stop seeing if he is ‘marriage material’ on the first date.  Many of you think about what your friends will think of him.  Damn girl, where are they when you are going to bed alone at nights?

Ladies, Stop looking for that PERFECT man, he doesn’t exist.  The perfect man is someone in your imagination, look for a good man, a man who will make you laugh, a man who will love you for you and man who will respect you and grow old with you and if he happens to be successful, tall and attractive then that’s a bonus.